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LT 74 - To Agnes of Jesus - January 6, 1889

LT 74                   From Thérèse to Agnes of Jesus.

January 6, 1889

 

Dear little lamb of Jesus, thanks!... If you only knew how much your note pleased me!. ..

Ask Jesus to make me generous during my retreat. He is rid­dling me with pinpricks; the poor little ball is exhausted. All over it has very little holes which make it suffer more than if it had only one large one!... Nothing near Jesus. Aridity!. . . Sleep!.. . But at least there is silence!. .. Silence does good to the soul.... But creatures! oh! creatures!... The little ball shudders from them!. .. Understand Jesus' little toy!... When it is the sweet Friend who punctures His ball Himself, suffering is only sweet­ness, His hand is so gentle!. . . But creatures!. .. Those who surround me are very good, but there is something, I don't know what, that repels me!... I cannot give you any explanation. Understand your little soul. I am, however, very happy, happy to suffer what Jesus wants me to suffer. If He doesn't directly punc­ture His little ball, it is really He who directs the hand that punc­tures it! . .. Since Jesus wants to sleep why will I hinder Him? I am only too happy that He doesn't bother with me, for He is showing me that I am not a stranger when treating me this way, for, I assure you, He is going to no trouble about carrying on a conversation with me! . . .

If you only knew how much I want to be indifferent to the things of this earth. What do all created beauties mean to me, I would be unhappy possessing them, my heart would be so emp­ty!. . . It is incredible how big my heart appears to me when I con­sider all earth's treasures. But when I consider Jesus, how little it appears to me!. . . I would so much like to love Him!. . . Love Him more than He has ever been loved!. . . My only desire is to do the will of Jesus always! to dry away the little tears that sinners make Him shed.... Oh! I do not want Jesus to have any sorrow. On the day of my espousals, I would like to convert all the sinners of this earth and to save all the souls in purgatory! . . .

The Lamb of Jesus is going to laugh when it sees this desire of the little grain of sand!. .. I know that it is folly, but, never­theless, I would like it to be this way so that Jesus have not one single tear to shed.

Pray that the grain of sand become an atom seen only by the eyes of Jesus!. ..

Thérèse of the Child Jesus

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