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Ms A 36v

[36v°] I felt a real love for it. I also felt the desire of loving only God, of finding my joy only in Him. Often during my Communions, I repeated these words of the Imitation: “O Jesus, unspeakable sweetness, change all the consolations of this earth into bitterness for me.” This prayer fell from [5] my lips without effort, without constraint; it seemed I repeated it not with my will but like a child who repeats the words a person he loves has inspired in him. Later I will tell you, dear Mother, how Jesus was pleased to realize my desire, and how He was always my ineffable sweetness. Were I to speak of this right now, I would be [10] anticipating the time of my life as a young girl, and there are many details about my life as a child that I have to give you.

A short time after my First Communion, I entered upon another retreat for my Confirmation, I was prepared with great care to receive the visit of the Holy Spirit, and I did not understand why [15] greater attention was not paid to the reception of this sacrament of Love. Ordinarily, there was only one day of retreat made for Confirmation, but the Bishop was unable to come on the appointed day and so I had the consolation of having two days of solitude. To distract us our mistress brought us to Mont Cassin and there I gathered very many big daisies for the feast of Corpus Christi. Ah! how happy my soul was! [20] Like the Apostles, I awaited the Holy Spirit’s visit with great happiness in my soul. I rejoiced at the thought of soon being a perfect Christian and especially at that of having eternally on my forehead the mysterious cross the Bishop marks when conferring this sacrament. Finally the happy moment arrived, and I did not experience an impetuous wind at the moment of the Holy Spirit’s descent but rather this light breeze which the prophet Elias heard on Mount Horeb. On that day, I received the strength to suffer, for soon afterward the martyrdom of my soul was about

 

 

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