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Ms A 49r

[49r°] that Jesus showered His graces so lavishly upon His little flower, He, who cried out in His mortal life: “I thank thee, Father, that thou hast hidden these things from the wise and the prudent and revealed them to babes,” willed to have His mercy shine out in me. Because I was little [5] and weak He lowered Himself to me, and He instructed me secretly in the things of His love. Ah! had the learned who spent their life in study come to me, undoubtedly they would have been astonished to see a child of fourteen understand perfection’s secrets, secrets all their knowledge cannot reveal because to possess them one has to be poor in spirit!

[10] As St. John of the Cross writes in his canticle:

                 On that glad night,
                 in secret, for no one saw me,
                 nor did I look at anything,
                 with no other light or guide
                 than the one that burned in my heart.
                 This guided me
                 more surely than the light of noon
                 to where he was awaiting me
                 — him I knew so well —
                 there in a place where no one appeared.

This place was Carmel. Before “resting in the shadow of him whom I desired,” I was to pass through many trials, but the [15] divine call was so strong that had I been forced to pass through flames, I would have done it out of love for Jesus.

I found only one soul to encourage me in my vocation, that of my dear Mother. My heart found a faithful echo in hers, and without her, perhaps, I would not have reached the blessed shore which received her five years before on its soil permeated with the [20] heavenly dew. Yes, I was separated from you for five years, dear Mother, and I believed I’d lost you forever; at the moment of trial your hand pointed out the way I should follow. I needed this help, for my visits to Carmel had become more and more painful, and I was unable to speak of my desire to enter without feeling opposed. Marie, thinking I was too young, did everything possible to prevent my entering; and you, dear Mother, to prove me, sometimes tried to slacken my ardor.

 

 

© Washington Province of Discalced Carmelite Friars, Inc