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Ms A 73r

[73r°] He will bestow on me in the presence of the angels and saints, and now He was giving me only a faint image of this. The consolation I experienced at this thought was very great indeed!

January 10, as I have just said, was my [5] King’s day of triumph. I compare it to the entry of Jesus into Jerusalem on the day of the palms. Like that of our Divine Master, Papa’s glory of a day was followed by a painful passion and this passion was not his alone. Just as the sufferings of Jesus pierced His Mother’s heart with a sword of sorrow, so our hearts experienced the sufferings of the one we cherished [10] most tenderly on earth. I recall that in the month of June, 1888, at the moment of our first trials, I said: “I am suffering very much, but I feel I can still bear greater trials.” I was not thinking then of the ones reserved for me. I didn’t know that on February 12, a month after my reception of the Habit, our dear Father would drink [15] the most bitter and most humiliating of all chalices.

Ah! that day, I didn’t say I was able to suffer more! Words cannot express our anguish, and I’m not going to attempt to describe it. One day, in heaven, we shall love talking to one another about our glorious trials; don’t we already feel happy for having suffered them? [20] Yes, Papa’s three years of martyrdom appear to me as the most lovable, the most fruitful of my life; I wouldn’t exchange them for all the ecstasies and revelations of the saints. My heart overflows with gratitude when I think of this inestimable treasure that must cause a holy jealousy to the angels of the heavenly court.

My desire for suffering was answered, and yet my attraction for it did not diminish. My soul soon shared in the sufferings of my

 

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