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Ms C 08v

[8v°] I desire is that it be broken through love.

Oh! no, I do not have any fears of a long life and I do not refuse the fight, for the Lord is the Rock to which I am raised. “He teaches my hands to fight, and my fingers to make war. He is my protector, and I have hoped [5] in him!” I never did ask God for the favor of dying young, but I have always hoped this would be His will for me. Frequently God is satisfied with the desire of working for His glory, and you know my desires have been great, dear Mother. You are aware, too, that Jesus has offered me more than one bitter chalice which He [10] removed from my lips before I drank it, but not before making me taste its bitterness. The holy King David was right, dear Mother, when he sang: “How sweet and pleasant it is for brothers to live together in unity.” It is true, I felt this very often, but on this earth this [15] unity must take place in the midst of sacrifices. I didn’t come to Carmel to live with my sisters but to answer Jesus’ call. Ah! I really felt in advance that this living with one’s own sisters had to be the cause of continual suffering when one wishes to grant nothing to one’s natural inclinations.

[20] How can anyone say it is more perfect to separate oneself from one’s blood relatives? Has anyone ever found fault with brothers who were fighting on the same field of battle? Are brothers blamed when they fight together for the martyr’s palm? Undoubtedly, as some have

 

 

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