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Ms C 31r

[31r°] wipe my face to show the Sister who was sprinkling me that she would do me a favor to be more careful. But I immediately thought I would be very foolish to refuse these treasures which were being given to me so generously, and I took care not to show my struggle. I put forth all my efforts [5] to desire receiving very much of this dirty water, and was so successful that in the end I had really taken a liking to this kind of aspersion, and I promised myself to return another time to this nice place where one received so many treasures.

My dear Mother, you can see that I am a very little soul and that I can offer God only very little things. It often happens [10] that I allow these little sacrifices which give such peace to the soul to slip by; this does not discourage me, for I put up with having a little less peace and I try to be more vigilant on another occasion.

Ah! the Lord is so good to me that it is quite impossible for me to fear Him. He has always given me what I desire or rather He [15] has made me desire what He wants to give me; thus a short time before my trial against the faith began, I was saying to myself: Really, I have no great exterior trials and for me to have interior ones God would have to change my way. I do not believe He will do this, and still I cannot always live in repose as I am now; what means, then, will Jesus find [20] to try me? The answer was not long in coming, and it showed me that the One whom I love is not at a loss as to the means He uses. Without changing my way He sent me the trial which was to mingle a salutary bitterness with all my joys. It is not only when He wishes to try me

 

 

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