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Ms A 18v

[18v°] took her by the two elbows to kiss her and she would cry out in a high-pitched tone: “Good night, Papa, good night and sleep well!” Every evening was a repetition of the same thing.

Then my little Mama took me in her arms and brought me to Céline’s bed. I would say: “Was I very [5] good today, Pauline? Will the little angels fly around me?” The answer was invariably “Yes,” otherwise I would have cried the whole night. After she and Marie had kissed me, Pauline went downstairs and poor little Thérèse was left all alone in the dark; in vain did she [10] picture the little angels flying around her; fright soon took over, the darkness filled her with fear, for she could no longer see the stars twinkling away serenely.

I consider the overcoming of my fears as a grace I received through you, dear Mother; you used to send me [15] in the evening to a far-off room in search of an object. Had I not been so well guided, I would have been very nervous, whereas now it is difficult to frighten me. I wonder at times how you were able to raise me with so much love and tenderness without spoiling me, for it’s true you never allowed an [20] imperfection to pass, you never scolded me without a reason, and you never went back on something once you made a decision. I knew this so well, I wouldn’t have been able nor would I have wanted to do anything you had forbidden. Papa himself was obliged to conform to your will, for without Pauline’s consent I didn’t even take a walk, and when Papa told me to come I’d answer: “Pauline doesn’t want it.”


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