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Ms A 21r

[21r°] his little Queen had at an age when illusions are not to be feared. It is from the midst of glory he obtained this sweet consolation of understanding that God, ten years before our great trial, was already showing it to us. He was doing this as a Father who gives His children a glimpse of the [5] glorious future He is preparing for them and is pleased to have them consider in advance the priceless riches which will be their heritage.

Ah! why was it to me that God gave this light? Why did He show such a small child a thing she couldn’t understand, a thing which, if she had understood, would have [10] made her die of grief? Why? This is one of the mysteries we shall understand only in heaven and which we shall eternally admire!

How good God really is! How He parcels out trials only according to the strength He gives us. Never, as I’ve said already, [15] would I have been able to bear even the thought of the bitter pains the future held in store for me. I wasn’t even able to think of Papa dying without trembling. Once he had climbed to the top of a ladder and as I was standing directly below, he cried out: “Move away, little one, if I fall, I’ll crush you!” When I heard this, [20] I experienced an interior revulsion and instead of moving away I clung to the ladder, thinking: “At least, if Papa falls, I’ll not have the grief of seeing him die; I’ll die with him!”

I cannot say how much I loved Papa; everything in him caused me to admire him. When he explained his ideas to me (as though I were a big girl), I told him very simply that surely if he said this


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