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Ms A 26v

[26v°] Having listened to my great confidences, Mother Marie de Gonzague believed I had a vocation, but she told me they didn’t receive postulants at the age of nine and that I must wait till I was sixteen. I resigned myself in spite of my intense desire to enter as soon as possible and to make my First Communion [5] the day Pauline received the Habit. It was on this day I received compliments for the second time. Sister Teresa of St. Augustine came to see me and did not hesitate to say that I was pretty. I had not counted on coming to Carmel to receive praises like this, and after the visit I did not cease repeating to God that it was for [10] Him alone I wished to be a Carmelite.

I took great care to profit from my dear Pauline during the few weeks she still remained in the world. Every day, Céline and I bought her cake and candy, thinking that later on she would never eat these anymore; we were always by her side and never gave her a moment’s [15] rest. Finally, October 2 arrived, a day of tears and blessings when Jesus gathered the first of His flowers, who was to be the Mother of those who would come to join her a few years later.

I still see the spot where I received Pauline’s last kiss; and then Aunt brought us to Mass, while Papa went [20] to Mount Carmel to offer his first sacrifice. The whole family was in tears so that people who saw us coming into the church looked at us in surprise. But it was all the same to me and it didn’t prevent me from crying. I believed that if everything crumbled around me, I would have paid no attention whatsoever. I looked up at the beautiful blue skies and was astonished the Sun was shining with



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