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Ms C 10r

[10r°] of their children. O dear Mother, your apostolic desire finds a faithful echo in my own soul, as you know; but let me confide why I desired and still desire, if the Blessed Virgin cures me, to leave the delightful oasis where I have lived so [5] happily under your motherly care, and to go into a foreign land.

Dear Mother, as you told me, a very special vocation is necessary to live in foreign Carmels. Many believe they are called to this, but it isn’t so. You told me, too, that I had this vocation and only my poor health stood in the way. I know very well [10] this obstacle would disappear if God were calling me to the missions, and so I live without any unrest. If I have to leave my dear Carmel some day it would not be without pain, for Jesus has not given me an indifferent heart. And precisely because my heart is capable of suffering I want it to give Jesus everything [15] possible. Here, dear Mother, I live without any burdens from the cares of this miserable earth, and have only to accomplish the sweet and easy mission you have confided to me. Here, I receive your motherly attention and do not feel the pinch of poverty since I never lack anything. But here, above all, I am loved by you and all [20] the Sisters, and this affection is very sweet to me. This is why I dream of a monastery where I shall be unknown, where I would suffer from poverty, the lack of affection, and finally, the exile of the heart.

Ah! it is not with any intention of rendering services to the Carmel which



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