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From Céline to Thérèse - July 12, 1893

From Céline to Thérèse

July 12, 1893

La Musse, July 12, 1893

Dear little Thérèse,

Your beautiful letter pleased me very much, it is food for my soul. But I see God is leading us by the same way, for I am in such aridity that I no longer see clearly. I even wonder if I shall come to the end, filling these four pages. Yes, no doubt, but on condition that I do not speak of my soul, for it is plunged into death. There is nothing, no, nothing to say about it. And this state is not fleeting, it lasts for months.

Within me, there is always nothing, always the dark night. Where then is the time when, so transported, so strong, so courageous, I used to read St. John of the Cross, and I was flying so high, my soul filled with joy! The time is past for "weaving garlands with flowers and emeralds chosen on cool mornings..."

Thérèse, you understand me so well, and your soul is so faithful an echo of mine! Yes, the morning of life is past, now it is noon, so heavy, so crushing....

However, a thought comes to me: Saint John of the Cross does not say: "the soul weaves garlands during the cool mornings, but with flowers chosen during the cool mornings." It is, then, at pre­sent, during midday that the soul weaves the flowers chosen during the cool mornings...

Now it no longer has anything to offer its Beloved except the bou­quet already gathered, it can no longer do anything else but to tie it "with one of its hairs….   "

Dear Thérèse, you believe, then, that this one hair of our love suf­fices? ... You believe that God is not asking me to choose new flowers and new emeralds, to practice many virtues, to produce "aspirations divinely scented, but only to tie with love the flowers of the cool mornings?... And you believe that now love alone suf­fices? Oh! this thought does me some good, it came to me sudden­ly when writing you, for I was interpreting these words in a different way altogether.

In fact, midday is so hot for my poor soul that this is no longer the time to gather. I would like to but I cannot do so. I am incapable of "doing good," absolutely. I can only "desire good." It seems to me I am descending always lower, that nothingness invades me more each day. But since one single hair suffices for finishing the bouquet!

Dear Thérèse, I feel your soul responds so fully to my soul that you divine all I do not say to you.... I kiss you, with what love!

Your little Céline

Shower with kisses dear Mother, Pauline, Marie. The letter from my dear Marie gave me inexpressible joy, it thrilled my soul. Pauline must take care of her teeth; if she is suffering from her gums, she should use some alum. From time to time, one puts some of this alum solution in the mouth for a few moments, then spits it out. Alum is not expensive and tightens the gums. This soothed me very much when I was suffering from my mouth. As for the seltzer water, Francis has an apparatus, but it is in poor condition; he will check it later and give it to you with directions. Marie is not to worry, and she is to get some siphons; they are very inexpensive, three sous only, and I can pay for them!

Papa is always well, but there is nothing new to tell you, in spite of my questioning myself to find some interesting detail. On Sun­day, he had a very good day.

 

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