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From Céline to Thérèse (Fragments.) - March 13, 1889

From Céline to Thérèse. (Fragments.)

March 13, 1889

My dear little Thérèse,

I cannot refrain from putting in a little note for you. If you only knew the good your letter did to me…Oh! I have too much in my heart to tell you everything... My heart is filled with love for my dear little sister. Jesus' little atom loves Jesus' little grain of sand so much!. . . Your letter and those from Marie and Pauline are nourishment for my soul, they are my treasures; I feel en­riched by them, my broken-down courage is renewed, and I take on strength again.... Oh, dear little sister, thank you....

If you only knew what I dreamt the other night! You had just died a martyr; a man had taken you into a woods to kill you. With envy, I saw you leave for martyrdom.... I was awaiting what was going to happen when suddenly we saw a light smoke arising to heaven, and then a bird sang. We said to ourselves: the sacrifice is accomplished! Thérèse is a martyr…My heart leapt at this

news: And what about me! Am I going to be separated from my Thérèse? Oh! no, this could not be; there was something which gave me hope for the same blessing. As I was wandering in the countryside, a little boy, a shoemaker's apprentice, jumped on me and plunged his awl several times into my throat. I was so happy that I had no thought of running away, but, the child be­ing undoubtedly too weak, I did not die. However, his rage in­creased more and more, and he ended up by tearing out my eyes. This time I collapsed but saying always: more, more!... I wanted more, but I didn't end up dying; I was envying your lot when, after having undergone all these horrors, I awakened, and I greatly regretted that this dream was not a reality. No doubt, it was a time of persecution, but, you see, these were unknown mar­tyrdoms, you killed in a woods and I by the hand of a child. All the same, you won't fail to say to yourself: I can see that she wasn't suffering when she was always wanting more! It's true that in my dream I was trying to suffer and I couldn't, so it's not surprising then that I wanted more sufferings.

Dear little sister, in spite of what is very unlikely in this dream, I assure you that it said something to my heart.... You know what it is, you can guess what it is. . . . No, we two cannot be separated. . . …………………………………………………………………………………………………..

like you: let us suffer, suffer, and not cease suffering… Let us give our whole life, all our blood, all the strength of our soul and our heart for Jesus... The Cross that we are carrying is very bitter!

Tell Marie and Pauline how much good their letters did me.

I have not yet received a letter from Father, and you? Oh! you would have told me if you had received any?

I understood your whole letter....

Another time I won't be so long without writing; what held me back one day was M. Isidore Guérin's visit. I thought she was going to give you the news. When you are surprised at not receiving a let­ter, think that there is nothing new and that the news is insignifi­cant. At times, I have trouble getting any news; I have to keep questioning.

The little Atom is united to the Grain of sand in the Heart of Jesus.

A kiss for dear Mother.

My heart is filled with "mercis" to little Marie and very dear Pauline.... I could be saying them until tomorrow morning and I would still not have begun to say what is in my heart....

 

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