From sr Francoise-Therese (Leonie) to her three sisters in the Carmel - May 7, 1899

From Sr Francoise-Therese (Leonie) to her three Carmelite sisters - May 7th 1899

Beloved little sisters,

How grateful I am to our dearest Mother for having allowed you to write to me every fortnight. Your poor little sister really is in need of it, deprived as she is from being able to see you. This is the greatest and hardest sacrifice for me, and my heart feels it keenly. But the thought that we shall see one another again in heaven, and that we have parted only to one day, even in this life, be more closely united in God, reassures me and comforts me immensely. My poor little boat is often fiercely tossed about by the storm. It feels like everything is going to founder. At such times, I don’t know what will become of me and have no remedy but to reveal everything to my dear Mothers. It’s my only lifeline, and afterwards I feel at peace again. So, little sisters, I’m counting heavily on your prayers until I reach port, because the more my novitiate progresses, the more difficult it becomes, and our dear Mistress, seeing I have everything I need to become a true Visitandine within me, isn’t sparing me. I can assure you that she certainly has a way of rooting out and quashing human nature, wherever it may be hiding. Yet, far from complaining, I am instead delighted with this strong and gentle direction, for it is leading me straight to pure love, and I often tell her, “I beg of you, Sister, don’t afford me any special treatment. It’s my human nature that is shouting and rebelling, but deep down, I’m pleased, and this is the price for inner peace.” I weep sometimes, but only rarely. When I’m sad, it’s only because I have refused Our Lord something.  

Today, 8thMay, is a double celebration, and one that is dear to my heart: the anniversary of our Angel’s 1stCommunion and the profession of my little Mother Agnes of Jesus. I’ve kept the sweetest memories of this heavenly day on earth.