From sr Genevieve (Celine) to Mother Agnes of Jesus – January 20, 1908

From sr Genevieve (Celine) to Mother Agnes of Jesus – January 20, 1908

J.M.J.T.                                       20th Jan. 08

Jesus +

                       Darling little Mother,

In my little heart, I had many things I wanted to say to you for your feast day, but what happened this evening with you know who has muddled my thoughts somewhat. However, it doesn’t matter, I’m going to express them anyway. Beloved little Mamma, I love you more than I can say. You are the ideal for me, too, and I’d like to shout from the rooftops that I find you extremely gentle, humble, compassionate, and merciful, and that for me, you are the very image of God. O, little Mother, ask Thérèse to help me resemble you a little. I’d like to be good-natured but I’m not even good. I’m just a poor little woman riddled with flaws. I’m imperfection itself, and I’m sorry to say so, because I’d like to bring glory to you and to our little queen. Little Mother, you are the source of all my happiness. I’d like to spoil and pamper you. You deserve it so much that I’m happier when you are shown kindness than when I myself am shown it. Similarly, my pain is greater when someone hurts you than when someone hurts me. I think that this is what it means to love, for it’s how I feel towards my darling Thérèse. 

Little Mother, this will be the last time I wish you a happy feast day in a large group [Mother Agnes of Jesus was coming to the end of her time as Prioress]. When I next have the chance to do so, much will have changed in our lives. We might not all still be here . . . so I want to hurry and quickly become a saint; I want to refuse Jesus nothing. Little Mother, oh, if only you knew! Yes, much is happening inside my little soul. You are familiar with its little envelope, which is very ugly, rough and misshaped. When, then, will you discover the little letter inside? I wonder why I’m not more holy after the insights God has given me. I have a raging thirst for suffering. I understand many things very well indeed. At times, things are so clear and bright that it’s as though I’m thinking what Jesus is thinking. I’ve begged Him so hard not to let me harbor any illusions that He must be answering my prayer. I’m avid to seek God’s way of seeing things, and to find it in the thousands of situations in life that reveal His will to us. That’s why the future doesn’t frighten me anymore, whatever it holds. Little Mother, I love you more than I can possibly say. Your little daughter

                                                            Geneviève of St Teresa, u.c.n.